From "TUK TUK" to "Take This"

TUK TUK, say these words in front of an audience representing different countries and you will be astonished by the upshot when asked. The Europeans will answer it as the TUK store with a good collection for Men, Women & Children for shoes. A Croatian citizen will say that there is a village named Tuk there. When asked by an African or a Kenyan he knows tuk-tuk as an auto rickshaw. There may be an acronym representing TUK somewhere as well. But, when you ask an Indian sub-continental person especially Pakistani guy, what TUK TUK means, you will be witnessing a broad grin on that person face and he would reply Misbah-ul-Haq the captain of Pakistan Cricket Team. Yeah, you got that right. Even Google proudly searches Misbah when queried for Tuk Tuk. Too much information for tuk tuk perhaps!

Tuk Tuk is perhaps the only term in Pakistan which went more viral than Tahir Shah’s Eye2Eye (if you have not listened to that legendary singer till yet, bro you lack observatory eyes and you have no right to live on this planet). Enough has been said and commented on the later; let us spotlight on Misbah oh my apologies Tuk Tuk. So, I was telling you that perhaps this phrase gained enough fame among youth to be designated as slang. I may not be able to change your perspective altogether but there are some stats and facts which you should keep in mind before affiliating Tuk Tuk to Misbah-ul-Haq.

The cricketing career of Misbah-ul-Haq has not been smooth. It has been a roller coaster ride. I still remember watching the game of Pakistan versus New Zealand where he made his first appearance in 2001 at Auckland. That was perhaps the golden era of Pakistan batting lineup where it had BIG-3 in its lineup to make every bowler sweat. Yes, I am talking about great Inzimam, Muhammad Yousuf (Youhana at that time) and Younus Khan who made an astonishing debut to international cricket. So, Misbah had to wait till age 27 to make an International debut. That too happened when Inzimam was not playing. When you live under the shadow of such greats, you are automatically a bit confused. That was apparent on Misbah as well. Technically very strong and was praised by foreign commentators back then for his resilience. However, he was soon out of scene because middle order was already congested with BIG-3. It was 2006 when we really started to see Misbah in Pakistan colors. He made an immediate impact in inaugural T20 World Cup where he almost single handedly won Cup for Pakistan (people remember only the last paddle sweep he miscued, they shall also what happened before that sweep and the looks on the face of Indian team and fans). It was a mere demonstration of Misbah caliber to play big shots whenever needed and required. See, he was not born as TUK TUK!

Pakistani batting was never a strong suite; although time to time some great batsmen appeared on canvas and became famous, BIG-3 were also regarded as such. Once, they went the weak batting lineup was there fragile enough to collapse under 100 many times. It badly felt the space left by cool calm Inzi, flamboyant Yousuf, and unconventional unorthodox Younis. Misbah had to fill the place of one on paper but had to do the job of all three. How well did he perform his job, well you have to be an unbiased cricketing fan to judge that. He is the leading run scorer for 2013 calendar year at the age of 39. Please note that all of those runs came away from home. You have to always keep that in mind while assessing Pakistani cricket team performance. How much home advantage matters? Ask India. Misbah stats will tell you another story, his track record will show another, and his impact on team will be something else. But, to be honest he did more than he was assigned for and yet I see the blame of all misdoings to Misbah. WHY?

It’s true that sometimes well infact almost every now and then Misbah finds himself in a situation where the team is either 15-3 or 20-4 or 5 down before 50 within powerplay. In such a scenario either you got to have a batting line up like india has, where it’s almost guaranteed that batsmen following me will do the damage control, repair work as well as shift gears when required OR you should have a long tail capable of holding one end with prime batsman. This is not happening for Pakistan, not for now, but for ages. So, the extra load and burden makes Misbah play unnatural block n block game rather playing freely. What you people see as TUK TUK, I call it consuming all the pressure so that others can breathe free. It’s the fault of other batsmen who change their own game style and blame it on captain slow approach afterwards. Your captain will play positive cricket if you provide him the platform to do so, otherwise you gonna see TUK TUK, and I don’t say its related to Misbah, anyone who will be replacing Misbah in future will be doing the same in this scenario. This is where and when people gonna miss Misbah and say

“yaar is say tau Misbah hi behtar tha, kam sy kam baad mai chakkay tau maar hi leta tha”

Just like we heard people saying

“ye kya bkwas batting lineup hai, is sy behtar tau inzimam tha, slow khelta tha pr match jitwata tha”

OR people who saw Imran Farhat/Nazir as opener saying

“Ye bhi koi opening pair hai, openers tau Aamir Suhail aur Saeed Anwar hotay thay, 3 overs mai 50”

Perhaps it was Misbah’s TUK TUK that cost 99’ world cup or an early exit in 03’ and 07’ editions. Perhaps he was the main reason to blame for spot fixing saga. Perhaps he was responsible for humiliating whitewash in Australia. Perhaps he was the main reason for internal rift in team. The peace process of Pakistan with India is going through TUK TUK phase perhaps so misbah is to blame. Perhaps American attack on Afghanistan was because of Misbah. Who knows, even Naga Saki atomic bomb blast was triggered by Misbah. Perhaps the word fault was designated to Misbah and Dunya mai jo kaam bhi ghalat aur slow ho raha hai us mai misbah ka hath hai..

So people please use the upper portion of your head IF there resides a brain, if you blame Misbah than you should not spare Hafeez (retard professor),  Afridi (I Miss U Hit), Kamran Akmal (once an Akmal, always a Fuckmal), Shaoib Malik (Laad ka laadu), Imran Farhat (mjhe kya prwa mere sussar gi hain na), Imran Nazir (1000 chance do, ik hi trha out ho kr dikhaoga) and Faisal Iqbal (maamo maamo mai ny 4 runs bna lye) by any means because this is the filth we need to take care of.

See you later guys, enough TUK TUK for the day, please ponder on it for some time, koi beTUKki baat ni ki main nay.

Behold, Ramadan is Coming!

By the time you will be reading this post most probably the Holy month of Ramadan has arrived. Everyone seems ready to welcome it this year as well (as it seems). Special ‘arrangements’ are being made in order to observe this month with religious zeal and spirit after all its time to have maximum benefit from this, who knows perhaps this is the last Ramadan of one’s life. So, therefore should not be left any blemish this time round.

Look around yourself. As today is the last day before Ramadan (depending on moon sighting, which itself is an issue in Pakistan) so if you are living in Islamabad, you probably should rush to any restaurant or an hotel, even a fast food spot would suffice and have a very lavish meal, just as if it’s your last meal on earth or just as you aren’t gonna survive to have another lunch after Ramadan. This is exactly what Islamabad roads/Markaz are depicting right now, you may not find a parking space right now. Now, even though we have a scorching sun over us, still you will find a lot of ‘LOVE’ on display in public parks and picnic spots as well. Spending time as if world gonna end tomorrow. In fact you may start to wonder who says Pakistan is a place full of hatred, anger and revenge; come see the amount of affection that is on display right now to change your perception about Pakistanis. Some people perhaps are living their FANTASY/DREAM right now (I don’t need to explain it as you people may have picked the underneath point by now) and are utilizing the guidelines of Devil before it gets locked for a whole month. But, who cares, you know the Holy month is coming, so we shall repent for our sins and ask for His forgiveness for all the mischief we did before it arrived.

Did you check the prices of goods and edibles of daily usage a month before Ramadan and now days? As I told you earlier nobody wants to waste even a single chance and opportunity to have Ramadan blessings so it’s time to make ‘money’ at general public cost and avail as much as possible. This year courtesy our democratic system, we had an extra topping of Budget package on that as well. So everyone’s happy and glad that all of it happened within a month time. We claim to be the ‘fort of Islam’ and we pretend to be the proudest and complete Muslims ever seen on this earth and during this ACTING some of us really perform well in practicing Rights of Allah, and doing so forgetting the Rights of People as a whole. Here prices go as high as 400% to 500% on those products which would be used extensively during this one month. Like most of the stupid trends, Pakistan is the trend setter of this. You may find this disease in other sub-continental countries too, after all fark tau parta hai na boss but still they won’t compete us for this honor… NEVER EVER!!! In contrast the non Muslim countries when they come to know of Ramadan, they give special discounts as up to 50% on daily edibles and fruits for Muslims knowing this is a religious obligation Muslims must do as per rules defined (such courtesy) even though if they don’t cut prices down like these no one can object because they are not bound by religion unlike us. Such a pity! Still who cares? Let’s make the MOST of Ramadan.

I often think how come we still keep on doing sins and evil deeds if devil has been chained and locked up for a whole month during Ramadan. Still, we did not see any decrease in such stuff. We have endured the most powerful earthquake during Ramadan. We have seen lots of bomb blasts during it. We have seen lots of killings being done in it. Who could forget the merciless killing of two brothers in Sialkot that happened while people were observing fast? What I understood was that; although the devil is locked in chains and restrained too, we are still free. The devil inside us is still free; we feed it with lavish edibles and expensive substances. We nourish it with hatred, anger, jealousy, betrayal, animosity. We have seen this evil kill hundreds of thousands, blown school and colleges; terrorize genders of opposite sex and what not. Also, have you ever noticed that as soon as the fast is over, we continue our old routine like Ramadan never happened or it has gone? Another aspect I have noticed that people don’t even bother to keep fast anymore that could be of several reasons; private/personal/genuine issues whatever. But, one must pay respect to the Ramadan and should refrain from eating and drinking infront of those who are fasting. Something that we have started to forget!

See, this is how we welcome this Holy month. We have just made it a source of eating even those expensive and different dishes which we seldom use throughout the year. Lots of Iftaar parties and dinner buffets' are being arranged and for a while we just completely forget the meaning of this month. We eat a lot and in such quantity that we keep on burping during Namaz at Mosque making all others uncomfortable. We make plans for dinners and this and that. We pretend to care about it but we never tend to care in actual. We should leave the monetary benefits away from religious obligations. We shouldn’t mix the religion and business. We should lock up the devil inside us the same time real devil is being chained. We should observe respect for those who are fasting. Allah will award the true observer Ramadan so why cut down your reward by choosing worldly benefits and gains over eternal benefits?

Let me say that we as a human being are corrupt. Let me say that we as a Muslim are rotten right now. Let me say that we as a Nation are spoiled. Let me say that we have lost our direction and we are all wandering here and there; having no idea what do to, when to do, how to do and for whom to do… We need to correct ourselves personally being a human, being a Muslim and being a citizen of Pakistan.

May God Help Us All, May we all Help us!